Doctoral · PhD 000
PhD in Almost Starting
The University's most distinguished research degree, and comfortably its longest. Candidates spend several illustrious years on the very threshold of beginning — contributing nothing prematurely, and everything in principle.
Course structure
The doctorate is structured around the moment immediately preceding commencement, which candidates inhabit fully and at length. There are no taught modules, no fixed milestones, and no foreseeable conclusion.
- Stage 1 — Literature Review (Ongoing); Refining the Question; Acquiring Books to Be Read.
- Stage 2 — Almost Beginning; The Productive Crisis; Reconsidering the Question Entirely.
- Stage 3 — The Threshold; Preparing to Prepare; Indefinite Continuation.
Study abroad or placement
Research visits abroad may be arranged, planned, anticipated, and ultimately rescheduled. Many candidates find the planning itself so rewarding that the travel becomes unnecessary.
Learning and assessment
The degree is assessed by a single viva voce examination, which has not yet been scheduled and, in the finest tradition of the programme, may never need to be.
Professional accreditations
Recognised by the Doctoral College of Imminent Research, an august body that has been about to convene since 1997.
Recognition of Professional Qualifications
This qualification is recognised throughout the sector wherever recognition is currently pending. Graduates report that the award is widely respected by colleagues who have, for some time now, been meaning to look into it properly.
Holders may use the post-nominal letters to which they feel, on balance, entitled.
Case study
“I have read everything,” explains one candidate of eleven years' standing. “I have annotated, cross-referenced, and built an exhaustive bibliography. My supervisor says I am closer than ever. I have not written a single word, and I have never been more ready to.”
Entry requirements
- A master's degree, or the firm intention of having had one
- A research proposal, thrillingly unwritten
- A capacity for sustained, dignified deferral
- An office plant likely to outlive the project
Fees and funding
Doctoral fees are charged per year of registration, of which there may be a great many. The University is proud to offer some of the most patient payment terms in the sector.
- UK candidates — £4,800 per year, indefinitely
- International candidates — £19,000 per year, indefinitely
- Studentships — available to those still finalising their application
Application information
Applications are accepted on a rolling and frankly leisurely basis. There is no deadline, and there has never been one; this remains the most popular feature of the programme.
Should the moment to apply not arrive, your place will be held in a state of indefinite readiness, at no additional cost.
- Step 1 — Resolve, firmly, to apply.
- Step 2 — Locate the application form.
- Step 3 — Set it somewhere safe and meaningful.
- Step 4 — Apply later.
Discover Uni course data
Independent course data, gathered and presented in the spirit of full and unhurried transparency.
- Pending
- Examiner satisfaction
- 100%
- Still researching
- —
- Submitted within expected time
- 11 yr
- Average time on the threshold
Course enquiries
Our admissions team reads every enquiry with great care and replies in the fullness of time. To date, the fullness of time has proven broadly sufficient.
- Email — enquiries@procrastination.edu (monitored intermittently)
- Telephone — we will call you back
- In person — by appointment, to be arranged shortly
Ready when you are
Begin your application whenever you feel ready
There is no closing date. There has never been a closing date. This remains, as ever, the entire point.